Penny Wise Pound Foolish

As I've stated millions of times before, I have learned a lot more about America being away from it, than being a part of it. It is only in the light of a new culture I have been able to clearly define that which makes me "an American".


Being in Europe also does something to make everyone feel a little bit more involved in American politics. Maybe it's the luxury of distance and the knowledge that while you're over here you can't really do anything about it, but whatever the reason, American awareness on a personal and a political level is at an all time high on my end. Therefore reading the  US headlines is a daily emotional exercise causing me to me cringe (often), scream (mostly), smile proudly (sometimes), research (a lot), write (roughly) and wonder just what the hell we think we are doing at home...and maybe there is something I could do about it (yeah right). The most recent US headlines have been the equivalent of a P90X workout in terms of heart pounding, brain twisting, gut wrenching reactions.


The government is in constant threat of "shutting down" if an agreement on budget cuts can't be reached. These said budget cuts are causing protests in Wisconsin (and probably soon to be other places).  The Constitution is being used as both a weapon and a shield (by both sides) in controversial topics such as healthcare and same-sex marriages, and all the while there is a quite poorly timed raging debate, led ironically by the parties calling for the limiting of big government power, that insists that the government--rather than the individual-- gets to determine what a woman can do with her body.


I'm not going to soap box my opinions on each topic independently, and really I am happy that these things are being brought up. The right to voice opinions and have heated debate are essential to a healthy democracy; therefore, it's not THAT these topics are big debates in congress nowadays, it's HOW they are being debated that make my blood boil.

Right now America is a sinking ship, and not just any ship--a massive gargantuan cruiseliner of luxury and power. The repbulicans and democrats fighting over budget cuts to a point of government shut down in Washington is like trying to bail the water of this massive sinking ship with a small pail and fighting over how to hold the pail correctly. Its hoping the ship won't sink if we throw all the extra rowboats and deck chairs (social programs) off the side to make the boat less heavy.

The argument that universal healthcare is unconstitutional (which it's not by the way) and that it needs to be repealed because it's "job killing" is not only false, is a far cry from what we should really be asking ourselves, which is how do we fix the fact that we as one of the last world "superpower" have one of the most inefficient health care systems in the world,  and does anyone have any bright ideas of how to 'promote general welfare' as the constitution calls us to do? 


What is the good in nay-saying? Why are we so hellbent on looking at our problems in such a narrowly defined box? Why are we so stubbornly determined to keep things just the way they are?


Henry Ford once famously said "If I had asked the people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses". Right now our short-sighted arguments on how we should cut cut cut the budget or how we can tweak tweak tweak our existing health care system is like trying to figure out how to make our horses faster, when we could have a car right around the corner. 


We are a nation founded on an IDEA. Our inherent optimism--something that I MISS so dearly-- is a recognizably unique and noteworthy aspect of America. It is what makes us a land of innovators. Our education system encourages broad knowledge and creation of opportunity. Instead of forcing students to memorize facts, we foster an environment where finding your own answer and being able to defend it is valuable. If we don't like a situation, we are told that we have the opportunity and the right to change it. 


Our founding fathers acknowledged in the Declaration of Independence "that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed" and calls us, in this document that is so essential to the essence of our uniquely American being, NOT to settle for that which has been given to us and exclaims that it our "right, it is [our] duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."


Our criticisms of both budget reform and health care are frighteningly short sighted. What if universal healthcare is minimally 'job-killing' in the short run... what are the long term positive effects? Or, if you are going to criticize, then look in the long run: What would be the long term negative effects? 


Instead of asking ourselves what do we get rid of to help keep this sinking ship afloat, why don't we be American about this and ask ourselves how can we innovate and create a solution? How do we find the hole causing us to sink? Why don't we re-evaluate the question and ask ourselves how can we create an environment that prevents this from happening in the future? 


We are a country of "can-do". It's rarely a question of 'whether or not' and most often a question of 'how'. It's what I love about America. It's what I've missed while I've been over here. It's what I hope to come back to, and right now I think America needs a good dose if its own dream...it does still exist, and if you don't believe me, try living without it for a while. I have a pull out couch you can sleep on... 

Disclaimer...

Just as any German could visit a good ole' American Walmart store and find this intellectual gem of a lady

are you sh*ting me?

(yes, those are her BOOBS in her PANTS) and think Wow, Americans ARE stupid and fat and only eat fast food/shop at walmart! So too, can I walk into a bar and find a 'Coconut' in Germany.

In fact, if a German were to come to America there is a statistically significant chance that he/she would run into such an American who would confirm their stereotypes, and there is a psychological principal that confirms that the German (or anyone) would probably only see that which is different than what he/she is used to seeing at home. Forget the other people he saw who were just like him... they are boring. The only ones worth remembering or commenting on are boobs-in-pants lady and the cool kids she hangs out with. Not necessarily the picture we Amuuricans want circulating abroad...

Therefore as a disclaimer I would like to say that although everything written in this blog is something I have genuinely experienced, and probably experienced more than once (usually how I deem it worthy of comment), it would be unfair and closed minded of me to say that ALL Germans are coconuts, or environmental freaks, or whatever else I have posted on.

The truth is, almost everyone I've met in Germany has been wonderful, open minded, friendly, and engaging. I have been overwhelmed by welcome and love, and while they do engage in a far different way, they do still engage in conversation.

I have certainly met my fair share of Coconuts, and no matter how open and friendly and welcoming the Germans I have met are, they are indeed MUCH more direct and honest than Americans on the whole. They are indeed FAR more environmentally conscious than we, and I'm still occasionally shocked at the immediate onslaught of political questioning when I meet someone... but no matter how noteworthy or common the experience is, I still must make it very clear that what I post applies ONLY to the experiences I've had, and like everything else in the world, I urge you all to experience these things first hand before making any judgments on the country of Germany.

And while I'm here covering my ass, I'll go ahead and cover Fulbright's too (again), and say that nothing written in this blog represents the opinion of Fulbright, the US department of State, or any other partner organizations.

I still haven't gotten around to that insurance blog, but if anything, I can tell you that the above-written sentence is wonderfully American. And I can say that with educated confidence. :)

Stay Classy America. That means you, too, boobs in pants lady. Rock on.

A Peach and Coconut walk into a bar....

In the spirit of this lovely holiday I would like to share with you all some cultural lessons I've learned (the hard way) about daily exchanges with Germans...which happen to also apply very directly (unfortunately) to the dating culture.

There's a stereotype out there that Germans are very direct, very punctual, and very efficient people. This applies to their public transportation system, the way they do business, and they way they interact with each other on a daily basis.

I'm here to say that according to my experiences, this is absolutely the case, and this small (general) truth, has given me a whole lot of trouble. Or, well, at least it did until I learned how to actually speak German.

To show what I mean, I present to you this table of translations.

This table is what I presented to my students in a lesson on 'how to speak American', but really the responses in the column titled what American's mean are ACTUAL german answers to actual questions/experiences I've had. The columns, when correctly titled, are POLITE AMERICAN and VERY POLITE GERMAN.

What is interesting is I put the German answers (aka what Americans mean) on the board for my students to see, just to gage their response. I asked them to rate the answers on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being rude and 10 being very polite.  ALL of these answers scored above a 6, and most of them were considered very polite.

This didn't surprise me at all.

Though these differences in responses seem subtle, they are very surprising when you actually encounter them face to face and can lead to misunderstandings of the most gargantuan portion.. especially when you're speaking American to a German.

For example, as Americans we are trained to read between the lines. When we hear:
"hmm... that seems...interesting"
we know that it means:
"that sound like a load of horse poop, what the hell are you talking about" and react accordingly.

Germans, on the other hand, are taught to read the lines. Which means when I say:
 "hmm... that seems...interesting"
they think I said:
 "wow. That seems interesting."

The perpetual polite American smile I seem to wear doesn't help this situation, and in fact seems to say "Oh DO tell me more!" Which, as you can imagine, is quite...interesting.

As Americans we value relationship building and foster relationship building kind of behavior through our language. For example, the purpose of small talk is to establish as many connections as possible with someone before diving into working with them. After all, it's easier to work with someone when you have something in common with them.

Because we value these relationships--albeit slightly superficial ones--we do things like smile when we talk, and ask about things that we know we all have in common: sports, weather, etc. We avoid topics like politics and religion for the distinct reason that it can only create divides between people... especially after talking about it for longer than 3 minutes and you've exhausted your polite generalities.

For Americans, politeness means not hurting other peoples feelings, which means it's OK to tell a white lie to make sure that nobody gets hurt. In fact, that is usually the justification for using a white lie... a little white lie never hurt anyone, right?

German politeness, on the other hand, is based on respect.

To a german, if you respect someone you give them an honest answer. If you respect someone, you respect their time, and therefore do not engage in non-productive conversation such as small talk. If you respect someone you don't ask them how their day was unless you genuinely want to know the answer. Engaging someone in a political discussion shows genuine interest in their opinions and beliefs and signals a readiness to dig deeper into who this person is...

These differences in language interactions say a lot about the way Americans and Germans form relationships and can, I believe, be summed up in this small analogy.

Americans are like peaches, and Germans are like coconuts. 

Americans, like peaches, are fuzzy and warm and smily on the outside. The surface is very soft and easy to break through. We smile, we engage in small talk, we have a lot in common with a lot of people and have a million friends all around the country.

Past this nice fuzzy exterior, however, is a hard core. It is a pit that takes a lot of strength to break through. Only a few people can do it, which is why Americans have have a million friends, but only have a few true best friends.

Germans are like coconuts. They are hard and rough on the outside, and it takes a lot of effort and a lot of time to break through that outer shell. BUT once you break through that tough outer shell, there is nothing left to break through. You're in, and you're in for life. Germans are very loyal, and the friends they have are friends for life, because gosh darnit, it took just about that long to break through that outer shell!

SO imagine a peach and a coconut talking to each other at the bar. Coconuts who are used to talking to Coconuts are used to honesty and don't usually make a new best friend by the end of the night. Thats not only normal, that is expected.

Peaches talking to peaches can have a new best friend for the night, but they will probably never talk to that person again. This is totally fine and to be expected. In fact, people who do actually call everyday after meeting randomly at a bar (though it DOES sound romantic) are usually deemed  "creepers".

So when a coconut talks to a peach, it is easy for the peach to feel bruised and beaten, and feel like the night was a whole loss...it was like pulling teeth and probably not an experience ever worth repeating.

On the other hand, the coconut (used to talking to other coconuts) is so impressed that he cut through the outer shell, that he thinks he has found a new best friend for life.  Ugh.

As you can imagine, this has made for some very tricky situations in the 'dating scene'...

So in sum: german efficiency and directness applies to more than their transportation system, American's appreciation of 'networking' is more culturally relevant than you would think, and I will just say:

 For all you single ladies out there on Valentine's Day,... if you lonely and looking for a serious relationship, there is a WHOLE COUNTRY of coconuts waiting for you. All you have to do is smile...

Speaking Denglish

Bruce Lee once said "If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done".

It's put so elegantly that I feel kind of bad for saying this but... Thank you, Captain Obvious. Now if you wanted to be really wise you could give me a way to stop thinking and start writing.

I know I promised an entry on the insurance industry and how German playgrounds and American cereal boxes actually say a lot about our national character, (well, maybe I wasn't so detailed in my promise, but that's what I wrote about anyway) but I seemed to have fallen into that infinite abyss called research, and any attempts to find a way out just seem to lead me even further in.

For example, In looking up statistics on law suits in the US,  I of course stumbled upon (read: collided at high speed) connections to the health care industry and cost of health care, which is quite the timely topic and something else that I have been researching with equal fervor on the side. The comparison of legal procedures in US and Germany also brought up the topic of differences in parenting, which connects to types of schools and "inherited education", which leads to a whole new myriad of topics.

Without a strict deadline or the rush of adrenaline there is nothing stopping me from reading anything and everything related to all connecting topics. And as it turns out, EVERYTHING is connected. In the process of information collecting  I haven't actually produced that for you all to read. New Years resolution: FAIL. Blog: Fail.

To continue with the motivational quote theme for today though, I'd like to think that "failure" is just life's way of helping you reorganize, reroute and nudge you this time in the right direction, but armed with a few more lessons. In my case lessons happen to be on socialized health care, school systems, and the impact that world war II had on shaping our world today.

So what I'm going to do now is something that I should have done a long time ago, and that is separate these relatively academic efforts from this blog entirely and create a new platform for such thoughts. One of my favorite classes at W&L I taught me about 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing... but it might as well have been called 22 Immutable Laws of Life.  The first (or maybe it was #17 or something) of these 22 laws is MEAN ONE THING.  The rest of the laws fall into place around it, like--be the first to mean that one thing, and if you can't be the first, then be first in the mind, and if you can't be first in the mind then mean something else... ).

From hence forth this blog-- A Strange Cup of Tea--is to mean this one thing: it will be an outlet for sharing the wonderful experiences I have had over here. Whether they are cultural or simply worth sharing, this blog will be fluffy, picture filled, and I don't have to feel guilty about it because my new blog  will be where I place my academic and (gasp) political thoughts.

My new blog will mean just that: a general place of sharing knowledge and thoughts of the day. It will be more like a twitter account for things I learn while researching the big topics. Though everything I write may not be a complete thought, I would like to gather all of the notes and incomplete thoughts at the end and put them all together a book, er, well, kind of like a mini thesis with chapters? Or a glorified blog? I don't know what the academic/real world will call it, but I'm going to call it Speaking Denglish, and I look forward to sharing it with you in the process, and hopefully the finished product when I come back to the US.

Ok, for now though, I have to tend to an utter catstrophe at Glücksburger Straße 52; namely, the broken shower. Lest I actually turn into a smelly german (that was mean... oops) I should probably get on this soon.

Will post a fun picture filled update by the end of the day!